Crisis

dear human, 

i am only 22 years old. and now i have to carry the weight of world on both of my shoulders. isn't it too heavy for me? do you think that it's easy to choose between family and a man? 22 years of growing up with you doesn't mean that i'll change after i married to a muslim man. converting to islam doesn't mean that i'll forget ever single thing about us. i am me and forever me. i'll go back to my hometown during Christmas as how i used to do. i'll celebrate Gawai with you like how we used to celebrate it. nothing's gonna change!

this is not processional at all you see, i won't give up on finding my own life. this is about my happiness. i don't want the same thing happen all over again. enough with mummy's broken marriage. i don't want this to happen again. please, just give me a change to build my own life. i'll never forget my responsibility towards you. i am forever your grandchild, forever mummy's daughter and forever a niece to my uncles. nothing's gonna change dear. i'm always here. im begging you please give me a change to make my own decision. this is about my future. i'm not going anywhere! 

o God, why is everything so hard?