Should I?

Dearest someone, I just don't know how to tell u about... huh. FUCK. My friend told me not to treat him that "bad" but I still can't treat him like did before. 1st week of the class, I didn't talk with him at all. Just pretend that I'm new and everyone's around were stranger.

My friend said, please forgive him. Start with something new. Agagaga. nO I can't. Once I said no, means that NO forever. I'll give u back the ring if u want. Iyerp. Don't ask me WHY. I am not cruel but, agaga. I have to. I received a text message from him about 3 weeks ago, berbunyi "someone told me u were sick. If its as serious as they say it is, than let me offer u my condolences and hope u make a speedy recovery". by the way thanks for your message. I really appreciated it.

Please, someone told me that u can't forget every single little things about me. berhenti sayangi saya. sebab aku tak tercipta untukmu. aku cintai zul. selamanya aku cintai dia. I'll do anything. saya tak dapat layan awak macam dulu. saya nak awak lupakan saya. jangan ingat apa2 pasal saya. kita cuma mampu jadi rakan sekelas. tu jer. takkan pernah lebih dari tu. saya harap awak faham. dan jangan tanya saya kenapa saya kerap mengadu tentang Zul depan awak tapi saya masih cintakan dia. saya ada sebab saya sendiri. harap awak phm.

Owh So Damn Sweet

Itulah lain kali kalau nak tipu tu cover lah sikit. tok Hidup2 ko bulak ngan aku. sabar jk lah kw sya oii.. apa tek? "kena panah petir aku mun saiko?". sekarang aku dah bukti. so now sapa kena panah? sampai dimaki lagi aku. apa aku nie patung takda perasaan langsung? masalahnya aku bukan menipu. I'm serious bah. kali ku tok rabun pi ku blom buta gik. ya ku padah iboh majal bek kau mengaku kesalahan and minta maaf dgn aku. nah see? sik mok ngaku nak? tok lah akibat sikmok ngaku. sabar jk lah aku! owh kw pdh kw jawab apa yg patut. IC. patutlah panjang lebar. essei panjang kali kw buat ya. :) BTW thanks to that idiot bitch. saya mmg meluat tgk perempuan sial mcm dia. mmg tak pandai insaf. kalau datang Kuala Lumpur pasti ku jual itu di Bukit Bintang. lalalaa. ya tah. jgn kw majal kn mrmpas hak milik urg. kau atu urg bukan binatang murah gilak. What The FUCK. :)

sekian berita dari Sentul Wonderland.

church wedding part 2

I LOVE the rosary!!

Reserve your church as soon as possible!!

Do not be surprised if your first choice for a wedding date is changed. Some churches have waiting lists up to two years in length. If you absolutely have to be married in your church on a specific day, make your reservations well in advance, and plan on a long engagement.

Outside Locations
Although outside ceremonies are beautiful, there is an element of risk involved: Weather! Unfortunately it is not possible to predict the weather for your specific day months in advance. It would be wise to have an indoor location available if the weather turns out to be poor. Regardless of whether you plan to have an indoor or outdoor ceremony, it is important to reserve your location as soon as possible. Some ideas for possible outdoor ceremonies include

• Mansions ( contact the owner )
• City Parks ( contact the director of Parks and Recreation for your community )
• Fairgrounds ( contact the Fairgrounds Director )
• Orchards ( contact the owner )
• Ranches (contact the owner )

		Wedding Reception Why Have a Wedding Reception? To eat, drink and be merry. To celebrate the coming together of two people. Actually, marriages throughout the ages have been celebrated with feasting. However, in some cultures, even till today, the new wife does not attend the feast, or may hold a separate smaller event with other womenfolk.

siti penanggur antara tua

kita tak mungkin bersama, kerna memang tertulis yg kita x sehaluan. aku punyai agamaku, yg ku pegang dlm hati selamanya, begitu juga dgn dirimu. kamu punyai jalanmu sendiri. dan aku tidak akan mengalah hanya kerna satu perkara yg dinamakan cinta. mungkin cinta boleh membutakan mata seseorang, tapi bukan aku. aku punyai bangsaku, adat, agama dan budayaku. mungkin ku lahir dari darah bangsa yg berbeza, namun agama yg tersemat dlm hati aku, takkan pernah ku ubah hingga hujung waktu. aku cintai kamu, tapi tak bermakna aku harus meninggalkan agamaku cuma kerna kamu. aku punyai keluarga, dan haruskah aku tinggalkan mereka hanya buat kamu? mereka mendewasakan ku, memberi aku didikan yang sempurna, mungkin tidak dilimpahi kekayaan harta, namun ku bahagia kerna aku lahir dlm keadaan aku beragama. dan aku percaya, tiada yg menghalang aku untuk terus kekal menjadi umat agamaku, begitu juga kamu. kita hidup pasti punyai prinsip. dan begitu juga dgn aku. aku kekal sebagai diriku. dan tak akan pernah ku ubah fikiran hanya buat itu.

From Kuching to Kuala Lumpur

13 June 2010, kali ketiga aku TERPAKSA meninggalkan tanah air. disinilah tempatku bertemu dgn mereka yg kini menjadi teman seperjuanganku di KLMU.

Hard for me to say good bye but i have to. check-in?

Kuching International Airport.

Pintu Masuk ke Lapangan Terbang Antarabangsa, Kuching

13 June 2010 - Argh! have to say Goodbye to Sarawak! yg penting aku sama flight dgn Ceaser. Selamat tinggal Sarawak! Bagiku kepulangan ku tetap tak bermakna sebab aku tak balik ke Limbang. argh. rindunya aku dgn Limbang, aku rindu Limbang. buleh Sakit RINDU lama-lama mcm ni.

My mum asked me, "how's Limbang hoh?".
ku cuma mampu menjawab "Don't know ma.".
"Who's the one yg ganti our tempat oo?".
"An Iban family ma, Aveniues told me".
"IC.. still remember the ampaian we made last time?".
"Yah, Edric loves to panjat the balcony every morning".
"Huh, he was still small last time right?".
"Yah. He always do the sound "ak ak ak" every time when we go to Plaza".
"And he started to cry when we reached home".
"I missed Wang Lian Bakery".
"Me too. I love the buns".
"Huh, how i wish i could turn back time and.."
"And what?"
"So that we don't have to move to Serian".
"Yeah. Still remember we 2 will go to Tamu every sunday morning and we parking at Dermaga Limbang there?".
"Yeah, next to Explanet."
"The ketam was so cheap and the 4 of us loves it!".
"And then your brother go wiwi at Tmn Cahaya every evening!".
"And it's my turn to go jogging with Yaya".
**Laugh**

"Mish Limbang so much Mum, I don't know when can we go back there".
"Someday, perhaps".
"Someday? When is it? Do u feel more comfortable here? I don't think so, mum why don't you apply to move back to Limbang?".
"No I can't. Cause it's too early for us to pindah".
"Damn! I just, Grrh! I mish Limbang, I missed the moment I lambai u guys go kerja every morning and bringing Edric out every evening while waiting for u guys to come back home".
"What to do, have to accept the faith".
"It's a destiny".

Limbang, no place like home.

Church Wedding

ku akan menjagamu, di bangun dan tidurmu, di setiap mimpi dan nyatamu.

I'm dreaming of a church wedding ceremony. Wearing a white dress, holding my dad's hand while everyone is looking at me, knowing that I'll marry the man who's waiting for me at the altar. Church choir, flower girls, families, friends, everyone! Saying "yes I DO" would be the most important moment ever! I'll promise to GOD that I will take a good care of him, my future husband. Please someone, do make my dreams come true.

Father, Ayah, Papa, Daddy, Amang,

20June - Selamat Hari AYAH!! thanks for being the greatest man I ever met.

PAPA ; meskipun aku tidak pernah mengenali kamu, siapa kamu, dari mana asalmu, berapa usiamu, tapi aku mau kamu tau yg aku gembira punyai papa seperti kamu, kamu tidak bertindak utk membuangku, meskipun aku ditinggalkan dan dibesarkan tanpa kasih sayang seorg yg boleh ku panggil "papa", aku bersyukur kerna kini aku telah dewasa dgn sempurna, dan aku berjaya menemui dirimu setelah 16tahun aku hidup di muka bumi ini tanpa mengetahui sapa kamu. trima kasih kerna darimu, aku mampu melihat keindahan dunia ciptaan Tuhan ini, terima kasih ats segalanya pa. berbahagialah hidup mu di dunia & di akhirat. mungkin aku tak dapat membuat dirimu bangga, tapi doaku takkan pernah putus buatmu.
[Mr EDWIN NYINGKI]

DADDY ; Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. i'll promise to make u proud dad. thanks for raising me up, thanks for your love, thanks for treated me as your own daughter, thanks for bringing happiness to my family. thanks for being a good father. thanks.
[Mr JONES TALIH]


DAD ; cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. That's all i can say about a father named [Mr LOUIS JAMAS]. and I LOVE HIM, more than i can say, i can do.

The Results!

I'm happy and satisfied enough with my results though there's 4 more subjects left with question mark behind. Thanks God! 4 flat for my Mandarin 2 and same goes to my Academic Reading & Writing 2, A+! Thanks to Mr Ling & Miss Sundary. I went to Time Square again and again. This is the 3rd time I went there since the day I arrived here.

Thank GOD I didn't fight with him for 2 days!

lagenda budak setan

I cried too much yesterday just for the movie, Lagenda Budak Setan. The movie was so sad and I didn't realized tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Sy cintakan awk tp sy pernah punyai masa silam. sy pernah punyai boyfriend dan kami pernah terlanjur. sy ni jijik kan?"

"semua org mesti ada buat salah & setiap org ada kisah silam sendiri, tapi sy terima awk seadaanya awk".

SUDDENLY, tears rolling down. I felt so down, seems like I'm the one who told Qasha about the truth. Went somewhere just for pursuing her studies and left everything behind, met a man who changed her life, falling in love with each other. It's just like "copy & paste" from my reality life. *pisst! I'm dreaming. I'm ALICIA and she's AYU. perasan jadi pelakon. :)

However, for those who haven't watch the movie yet, u guys better go and watch or just buy the DVD but make sure it's original cause u'll probably miss certain parts of the movie if u buy the cetak rompak one. :D

lagu betul menyentuh hati

Lirik Lagu ” Pengakuan “
Artis ” Marshanda “

Oh Tuhan
aku Bukanlah Ahli Surga
Juga Tak Mampu Menahan Siksa Neraka
Kabulkan Tobat Ampuni Dosa-dosaku
Hanyalah Engkau Pengampunan Dosa Hambamu
Dosa-dosaku Tak Terhitung Bagai Debu
Ya Ilahi Terimalah Amal Tobatku
Sisa Umurku Berkurang Setiap Hari
Dosa-dosaku Makin Bertambah Ya Ilahi
Hamba Yang Berdosa Datang Bersimpuh Menyembahmu
Mengaku Menyeru Memohon Ampunanmu
Mengaku Menyeru Memohon Ampunanmu

ya TUHAN ampunkan aku, hanya padaMU ku memohon.

sakit meh?

please jgn layan ku cam seorg pesakit :) aku x sakit. aku akan sembuh aku boleh lari, aku boleh menari lg. aku boleh menyanyi. aku blh angkat brg berat. aku boleh hidup lama, aku blh dirikan rmhtgga ngn nya. boleh. sapa pdh xblh? sapa suka paksa ku mkn ubat? sapa? aku x sakit koh aku sgt2 sihat. sgt2 sihat.

Demi cinta by KERISPATIH

maaf ku telah menyakitimu
ku telah kecewakanmu
bahkan ku sia-siakan hidupku
dan ku bawa kau seperti diriku
walau hati ini trus menangis
menahan kesakitan ini
tapi kulakukan semua demi cinta

akhirnya juga harus kurelakan
kehilangan cinta sejatiku
segalanya telah kuberikan
juga semua kekuranganku

jika memang ini yang terbaik
untuk diriku dan dirinya
kan kuterima semua demi cinta

* jujur aku tak kuasa
saat terakhir ku genggam tanganmu
namun yang pasti terjadi
kita mungkin tak bersama lagi

** bila nanti esok hari
ku temukan dirimu bahagia
ijinkan aku titipkan
kisah cinta kita selamanya

ku redhakan suma ini.

yg tok usus ku. hehehhee :D

nampak x sesuatu yg ku bulatkn ya? hah itulah dia.

tk tarikh aku pergi check up.

thanks DR eric munjan!

org balik kpg b'cuti aku plak sakit.

lekak theraphy ya, ujian ya. suma abdomen test. memang ku x sihat. wateva it is. i'll try my best utk sembuh. pray 4 me dear friends, aku tau ku blh sihat & sembuh cam org lain. aku yakin bnda yg sikkan melarat jauh. i won't let my one and only cry. he cries for me too much. i just want the world to know i love zul so much. tgnnya pasti sembuhkn aku koh. sygnya psti hilangkn smua kesakitan ya.

terapi ya mmg sakit. x dinafikn mmg sakit. nya masukkn tube. lpas tube solution tanpa dibius. pasya di'pam angin. sejam aku meraung kesakitan. aku t'paksa tahan solution ya daripada kuar balik. aku disuruh doktor mengiring, meniarap, baring, berdiri segala bagai dlm keadaan tube ya ada lagi. tube ya panjang & tajam. berjalur panjang. nipis gilak bantal hosp ya bgku bpaut. city scan? ya sia ku masuk cam boneka jak di scan camtok camya.

hasilnya, ku ada buasir. ketumbuhan nya ada dlm tubuh ku. aku mgkin dpt kanser kolon tahap 3 mun ku kahwin & bersalin klak. ku xtau mok jwb apa kt nya. ku tau mstinya kecewa. tp aku janji dgn diriku, slagi aku hidup & b'nafas, aku xkan p'nah berhenti cintakan zul. sbbnya satu-satunya yg ku cinta smpai hujung nyawa. & prasaan ya xkan hapus walau apa pun terjadi. seandainya nya pergi tinggalkan aku satu hari klak, aku redha ngan pemergiaanya. tp cintaku, xkn pegi sama cam pemergiaanya. aku cintanya, sampai akhir wakktu ku. i love dzul so much. so much.

The Engagement

Congratulations to sys Laurie & Greg! :)

The Day You Went Away

happy birthday sweetheart :(

You were the one that could always make me smile,
You were the one that could always make me laugh.
You were the one who could always tell when i was mad or sad
You were the one who always knew what i was thinking just by looking in my eyes
You were the one i always trusted
You were the one that told me u never wanted to lose me
You were the one that always cheered the loudest for me when i had a track meet but.....
You were the one that let me down
You were the one that broke a big promise to me
You were the one i never thought would do that
You were the one who broke my heart
You taught me to love, but not to stop
Teach me to forget every single little things about you
I'll love u till the end of my time.

[10/03/2008 - 04/06/2010]

akukah itu

Buasir dalaman

Lazimnya, buasir ini tidak terasa sakit dan gatal kerana ia terletak jauh ke dalam rektum. Buasir dalaman tidak merbahaya tetapi meneran dan gangguan dari laluan najis semasa membuang air besar boleh mencederakan permukaan buasir yang getas dan menyebabkannya berdarah. Anda akan terlihat titisan darah yang berwarna merah cerah pada kertas tisu atau di mangkuk tandas. Jika keadaan ini berlaku anda perlu mendapat bantuan perubatan, kerana darah tersebut mungkin datang dari sumber lain seperti ketumbuhan atau kanser kolorektum.

Buasir luaran

Buasir jenis inilah yang selalu kita dengar mengakibatkan gejala-gejala seperti sakit, pedih dan gatal di dubur. Jika buasir ini tersepit (bekalan darah akan terputus), bekuan darah akan terjadi di dalamnya menyebabkan ia terasa amat sakit. Gejala-gejala beginilah yang menyebabkan buasir jenis ini memerlukan perhatian dan rawatan perubatan. Apabila sahaja salur darah vena rektum teregang atau memberi dan terjadinya buasir adalah sukar untuk ia dibuang atau ditanggalkan sepenuhnya. Buasir ini akan berulang kembali walaupun dengan tekanan atau bebanan yang lebih ringan berbanding dengan yang dahulunya.

Gawai 2010

1 June, setiap taun pasti kaum Dayak di Sarawak menyambut Hari Gawai Dayak. [broken + berterabur + skema alu ayat]. Ceritaku pula begini, ku mula busy sejak 30Mei lg. Yeah, cerita pengalaman kali pertama aku parut kelapa! Yes! and i did it! 6 biji lagi ya.
pagi 31 Mei, aku bgn awal tlg apa yg ptut. aku bgn2 jak nmpak nenek ku sibuk bakar lemang dah. best.. before that c'dak bapa ku sembelih Itik. huhuu.. kciannya owh tedah. Dorg makcik aku dh sibuk masak rendang. Pergh! Suasananya kian terasa.. Aku tlg apa yg patut. Cuma ku smpat masak rendang petang ya jak. huhu.

pagi gawai - aku bgn awal. pakai baju baru warna hijau. hahahaha. Chiew Fong & Fiffy dtg rumah jam 10 camya. kaka punya kaka, aku ekot diorg pegi ngabang umah Fiffy. petang ya kami balik kpg. sbb ada pesta kt sia. well, Gawai bah kan. aku pakai baju Bidayuh. Owhh tidak! cantek sungguh! perasan.
2 June 2010 - Owh Ya! Happy Birthday Rima Marissa! Good luck for your coming SPM girl. chayok2! :)
aku balit tebakang! yahoo! lama sudah sik balit. & yg pasti ku sik sabar mok jumpa Agnes! mummy Nicole. time rami kat tangan Asai malam ya, ku jumpa nya. nya sik cam aku p ku ngelala nya. aku lepak ngan Philo with her friend. yang pasti ku sik dapat berhenti betanda. akai! syg skali sakit ku dtg balit. aku balik jam 1 pagi. & my nenek bg ku makan ubat. huh. tidak ku pinta lahir begini :(

pa pun selamat menyambut hari gawai dayak 2010. mohon maaf sy pinta sekiranya pernah bt salah & silap, buang yg jernih ambil yg keruh. gayu guru gerai nyamai! wohaaa!!

p/s : jgn minum sampai mabok k??

I'm Bidayuh & I'm Proud!

Kpg Tebakang, Serian. :)

Rami boh inyaa..

My Beloved Cousins from daddy's side.

rumah panjang kpg ku.. :)

hahaha. paduli lah sapa yg mau halang aku minum. bukan slalu~

hahahaha.

ngabang di rumah miss Malidi. :)

cake Gawai. sedap ni lapis Sarawak

QMK 9672, my dad's car! hehe..